For Everything There Is A Season
by half-human
Summary: post “Didn't We Almost Have It All.” After the wedding drama, Derek has a realization. AddisonDerekPete. Private Practice. Greys Anatomy.
1. A Time to Be Born

Title: For Everything There Is A Season

Author: Half-Human

Summary: post "Didn't We Almost Have It All." After the wedding drama, Derek makes some realizations. Addison/Derek/Pete.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Seriously. This is Shonda-land property, I'm just borrowing for entertainment. Title and Chapter titles/section headings are from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

A/N: I put my Challenges piece aside and my others. Just wanted to post this :P Please R/R and enjoy!

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_For everything there is a season,_

_And a time for every matter under heaven:_

_A time to be born_

Laying on his bed and staring at the ceiling, Derek contemplated the events of the night. After the wedding fiasco, he left the chapel and went straight to his trailer. He had run into Richard earlier at the hospital, only to find out that he and Adele were giving it another go-- trying. Actually trying. He missed having someone there for him all the time and he missed not having to fight for a relationship. As he thought about his efforts with Meredith, his mind drifted off to what Richard had told him earlier,

"But remember Derek, that was your problem, you never fought, you were never there, and now you find yourself in Addison's shoes, fighting, struggling, just as she was. Karma Derek, Karma."

Derek rolled over on his side and tried to push back all the words his mentor had told him.

Had he really behaved just as Meredith? Was he that dismissive and unmindful?

"Derek, don't you dare think yourself more innocent than Meredith, because she has reasons for being distant, unlike you. Meredith has lost two people in her life, and she herself went through a life-threatening ordeal. What was your excuse for being so absent when you were with Addison?" Richards's words echoed in Derek's ear. They continued to reverberate in his thoughts until he finally managed to get a couple of hours of sleep, which proved useless. In the morning he felt as tired he did the night before and he had work in two hours.

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Walking over to the small alcove where he'd brush his teeth and shave he let the hot water run until the mirror above the sink fogged up and his reflection disappeared.

"Where have I gone?" He asked out loud, still wondering about Richard, Meredith, and the events of his entire stay at Seattle. His sisters had warned him, his mother had suggested it, and Richard just told him it would pass. Derek thought they all turned against him and he ignored them. It wasn't until yesterday that Derek finally realized that they were true. He lifted a finger and traced in the fogged mirror:

Midlife Crisis

Midlife crisis. The words which Derek hated hearing finally seemed to hold so much truth. Looking back at his rash decision to move out West and buy some trailer in the middle of the woods, 'midlife crisis' seemed to sum up his behavior accurately. His relationship with Meredith was even more of an indication.

"What have I done?" he said, as if finally awaking after a long and dreadful slumber. More than a year had gone by. A year, and he had completely changed his life. He grew out his hair and he started dating a young woman. He was a rebel in a sense, but he couldn't help to think of all that he lost.

"Addison," he whispered, suddenly thinking of his ex wife and how he had driven her out of his life. He walked over to his bed and plopped himself down. Slumped over and reviewing all the events of the past year and a half, he kept thinking of his family and what they had to put up with. His thoughts returned to his best friend, the one person he thought was the love of his life, and he suddenly felt guilty. "Addie," he repeated, raking his hands through his hair and cursing himself. "What have I done?"

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A/N: I know, short, but there's more. Ok, so I want Addek back or at least some Pete/Addison or Derek-jealous drama. I'm excited about Private Practice, but depressed Dempsey needs to guest star in PP or something b/c I need some serious closure w/ Adds and Derek.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed. Please R/R

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	2. A Time to Die

Title: For Everything There Is A Season  
Author: Half-Human  
Summary: post "Didn't We Almost Have It All." After the wedding drama, Derek makes some realizations. Addison/Derek/Pete.  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Seriously. This is Shonda-land property, I'm just borrowing for entertainment. Title and Chapter titles/section headings are from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.  
A/N: Thanks for the reviews! I'm working on the next chapter so hopefully it should be up soon. kk, on w/ the drama :P  
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_A time to die _

A couple of hours later at Seattle Grace Derek tried to slip into the hospital without any unwanted run-ins. Looking at his chart, he let out a loud sigh. Meredith was assigned to him. He didn't want to talk to her yet, not because he was angry with her, but because he needed time. He needed time to think over where he stood and what had happened to his life. Derek needed to know where he was going because that morning while contemplating how drastically his life changed in the past year or so, all he could think about was how he lost his life-partner, and how that life-partner was not Meredith.

"Hey," Meredith said, stepping up behind him. He turned around and noticed how her face looked swollen and her hair was tossed. She hadn't slept. He knew. Derek didn't respond, although he felt her eyes on him. He looked at his chart for the day.

"I need you to run Henderson's preliminary tests. Run the labs. Get the results to me as soon as possible, and if he shows any resistance, find an orderly. I'm tired of dealing with him." Derek handed Meredith a chart and headed to the cafeteria.

It was there that he found himself eating alone and staring at his ex. She was sitting alone as well across the cafeteria with a muffin and orange juice. She seemed distracted. She had a newspaper and notepad open in front of her. She was jotting down things as she talked on her mobile. She looked so confident, at ease, and beautiful, that Derek felt an old familiar tug in his chest and couldn't stop staring. She suddenly turned her head toward him and gave him a smile. She was still on the phone but Derek didn't care. It was a simple gesture but he felt his chest tighten and he smiled back. She returned to her writing and for the rest of his short breakfast break, Derek kept wishing she'd look up at him once more.

Breakfast was only the first of the many times he thought about Addison. While treating one of his patients he couldn't help but think of Addison; Mrs. Jakes had strawberry-red hair. When he passed by Richard's office, he noticed the hospital legal-aid personnel and chairmen. The women's business attire—their heals, their skirts, their jewelry—reminded him of Addie. It was only when he saw a discharged woman with her newborn that Derek decided he needed to see Addison, talk to her, and attempt to tell her what he discovered. He had finally awoken, and he finally realized that Addison was the woman he wanted, the one he needed.

Derek had left Meredith to do some follow-ups on a couple of his patients as he quickly headed up to the NICU in hopes of finding Addison. As he stepped off the elevator and walked toward the NICU he roughly bumped into someone.

"Watch where you're going!" Mark snapped. Derek frowned.

"How about you slow down," Derek said as he suddenly noticed that Mark looked real upset. "It was an accident."

"I'm not angry at you," Mark said, lowering his head. "I have to go."

"Well, you are obviously angry at something." Mark rolled his eyes.

"Fine. I am, but not something, someone. Addison," he sighed. Derek felt strangely good at hearing that Addison had cheated on Mark. He still felt that good feeling but now it wasn't because of revenge on Mark. He felt surprisingly good because he knew Addison wasn't interested in him. If she wasn't interested in Mark, she was free for him.

"What did she do now?" Derek asked, trying to contain his amusement. Derek didn't think twice about possibly gaining from Mark's suffering. He had one goal on his mind, and that was talking to Addison and perhaps mending things between them.

"She's leaving," Mark said. Derek suddenly felt numb, utterly distanced and out of place.

"W-What?" Derek stammered.

"Addison is leaving. She talked to Richard a while ago. Her contract is up anyway." Mark continued talking, but his words were all mumbles. Derek kept thinking about Addison and her walking out, leaving him, just like he had left her once before. Still lost in his thoughts, he caught snippets of Mark's ranting. Addison had plans, plans without Mark. She wanted out. She was set on leaving and she wanted a baby.

"A baby?" Derek asked suddenly, pulled out of his twisted trance.

"Yeah, a baby." Mark hissed, shaking his head furiously. "She told me she went to California to figure out her chances of having a baby, but it didn't want to hear it, so I just left." Derek felt as if he needed to breathe. He inhaled and exhaled and looked at Mark, who was riling.

"Damn it!" Mark hissed, not caring that he was drawing a small audience. "She wants a baby now, now! Now after she aborted my child. What the hell is wrong with her?" And with that Derek couldn't take it any more. He felt nausea build within him. He couldn't be there and quickly left his enraged ex-friend alone in the hall.

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A/N: hope you enjoyed. I wanted to address the baby issue somehow :P Oi, an entire summer of re-runs--this is not good. Hopefully I'll survive it with fic reading/writing or at least with an occasional hot Addek or Addie dream :P lol. Anyway, please R/R, I'd greatly appreciate it.

Oh, and Pete, Mr. Mc-Light-My-Fire is on his way ;p


	3. A Time to Plant

Title: For Everything There Is A Season

Author: Half-Human

Summary: post "Didn't We Almost Have It All." After the wedding drama, Derek makes some realizations. Addison/Derek/Pete.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Seriously. This is Shonda-land property, I'm just borrowing for entertainment. Title and Chapter titles/section headings are from Ecclesiastes 3:1-8.

A/N: Sorry for the wait and thanks for the reviews XD Please R/R and enjoy!

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_A time to plant_

Overcome with nausea, Derek tried to calm down in the men's room. He couldn't walk straight or even think coherently. At the moment he felt he couldn't look Addison in the face, let alone talk to her.

'A baby, a fucking baby!' Derek thought, trying to quell his disgust. It wasn't the idea of the child itself, but that Addison had been pregnant with Mark's baby—his seed. 'Why didn't she tell me?' He asked, leaning against the bathroom sink. 'No, I have to stop this,' he thought, thinking of the night he caught Addison and Mark together. 'Its over and I have to stop thinking about it.'

Rinsing his face with cold water Derek pushed his hair out of his face. "I'm going to fix this," he said with conviction. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. "I just need to get her to listen."

After searching the NICU and asking several nurses, Derek was directed to an on-call room, where he found a sleeping Addison on a lower bunk-bed.

He entered the room ready to confront her, ready to bitch and yell and find out what else she was hiding from him, but he found that he couldn't disturb her in such a manner. She slept silently on her side. In her trademark salmon scrubs and hair carefully tied in a ponytail, she looked peaceful, gentle--beautiful. Kneeling down beside her Derek stroked her hair. She didn't stir. 'She must be tired,' Derek thought, sensing his anger and frustration slowly dissipate. He watched her chest move back and forth as she breathed and couldn't resist stroking her hair once more. She mumbled something but returned to her slumber.

Her lips were slightly parted and she was wearing her favorite colored-lipstick—a subtle deco red. Derek just stared at her sleeping form. He grazed her hip and thigh, remembering the times when she tried to cuddle with him and was turned away. "I'm an idiot," he whispered, balling his fist. Still kicking himself for his past actions, Derek gently cupped the side of Addison's faced and caressed her cheek with his thumb. When she still didn't wake, he leaned in as he used to do when they were a couple and planted a soft kiss at the corner of her lips. It was his kiss, and it was only for her-- light, quick, and right on the corner. She moved, shifted and frowned.

"Derek…not now," she whispered, her eyes still closed. "Derek…" Her eyebrows twitched. "Derek?" she asked suddenly jolting up as she realized who she was speaking to. "Jesus Derek!" she said, startled and backing up, placing space between her and her ex. "What…what are you doing?"

"I…I'm here to talk to you," Derek stammered. He had thought through what he was going to tell her but kneeling before her, he lost his words and scrambled to find something meaningful to say. She placed her fingertips over her lips, over the spot he had just kissed.

"Derek…" she began, confusion etched on her face.

"I couldn't resist," he said softly. Addison frowned.

"Ok, stop," she pushed him aside and got up from the bed. "What's going on?" She tightened her ponytail and placed her hand on her hips.

"I ran into an upset Mark today," he said quickly, watching as Addison's expression of frustration turned to one of fear. Her eyes widened and she seemed to shrink in stature.

"Derek…" Addison whispered, her hands trailing over her belly, "I, it was a time where…"

"You're leaving," Derek interrupted quietly, deliberately changing the subject. Addison hung her head took a deep breathe and then looked Derek in the eye.

"I am," she said confidently, raising her head.

"Don't."

"Don't?" Addison face seemed to redden with anger. "What's gotten into you Derek? I spoke with Richard and I've found a new job. So yes, I am leaving. Period." She was about to turn and leave when Derek grabbed her arm.

"Don't go. What's gotten into me? Nothing. I've just woken up. I've just realized what an idiot I've been, just acknowledged my stupidity, my disregard of you…I've just …know that I have made mistakes."

"And I just need to get out of here because I'm due in OR 2 in about twenty minutes." She turned once again but Derek held her. "Derek, let go. I don't know what you are up to, but this is not the time. Not now. Go off to your little intern and--"

"I think we're over, Meredith and I…I think," Derek broke in. Addison gave a small smile she turned back to Derek and he let her arm go.

"I see. When things get rough with the blonde you want to hook up with the ex again…that's nice Derek, just beautiful."

"That's not what I meant. I came to tell you that…I miss you. That I've realized my wrong doings and I want …to …"

"You want to what Derek? What, because so help me God, if you say you want to work things out now, now that you are tired of the blonde, now that I am moving on…" Addison looked up towards the ceiling and silently begged her tears not to fall. She inhaled deeply and thought of the good times ahead of her. She thought of her new home, her new job, and a certain someone. Addison returned her gaze to Derek.

"Sorry Derek," she said, smiling at him, "but you are too late. I won't play this game of yours any longer." Derek looked at her and tried to reach for her again. She quickly stepped back. "No."

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I'm tired…and you, you don't know what you want. I'm tired of playing games and I think I've found a place where I can settle down and be happy." Addison walked to the door and gave a sigh of relief. "I'll be happy there," she said smiling, traces of tears shimmering in her eyes. She turned the doorknob and looked at Derek. He was shocked with what he saw. It was happiness, content, a sense of hope and something else. The look was all too familiar and it crushed him. "Take-care Derek." About to walk out Derek suddenly blurted,

"There's someone else isn't there?" Addison froze, not sure whether to share the details of her personal life with Derek, but she suddenly felt more confident and content.

She nodded, gazing upon her ex. "There is."

"Addison--"

"You're too late Derek," she interrupted leaving the room.

Derek felt like he had been pricked with a sharp pin in his chest. He walked him self over to the lower bunk and sat down. "Shit," he whispered, hunched over, head in his hands. 'She's not with Mark but she's seeing someone,' he thought dejected. He lay down on the small cot and stared at the bed above him. He felt tired and worn and just wanted the day to end. Rubbing his eyes, he tried to clear his mind of all the news he'd learned that day, of all the disappointment and loss. He tried to clear his mind but as he did he couldn't help but detect the faint smell of Addie's perfume. She had been lying right where he was. "Damn it," he said, running his hands through his hair and unable to stop thinking of the coming days ahead, days with long surgeries, an angry Mark, a confused Meredith, but no Addison.

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A/N: OK, there's the update. Hope yall enjoyed it. Next chap for sure we'll meet the new hubby :P :P

Please R/R, I'd greatly appreciate it :P


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